I copied this from a friend. It’s typical of your modern Bible college graduate, who gets educated beyond his spirituality. I know preachers whom I could envision giving this very speech…
Modern Exegesis of Jack and Jill (From Atscft. Fur Alg. Bibifshng.) Â
Verse 1: “Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water.”  The word “and” presents some difficulties, which are not apparent to the casual reader. There is considerable doubt in the minds of most scholars as to whether Jack was accompanied by Jill, in the sense that the phrase is intended to record an actual historical event. In the setting out upon this expedition, which was apparently undertaken for a specific purpose, or, at least, with some definite object in mind, it seems likely that Jack was stimulated to undertake this mission by a basic need for water. Since most functions in the home involving water, such as cooking, washing clothes, scrubbing floors, etc., are normally undertaken by the distaff side, it is widely held that the force of the “and” in this context probably means that Jack set out with a strong picture image of Jill in his mind, and several existentialist scholars also insist that her parting words were undoubtedly ringing in his ears.
Grosskopf, in his monumental essay entitled, “JackmitJilldamortarung,” takes a contrary view. He states the passage considerably earlier than is generally believed (somewhere between 404 B.C. and the 19th amendment). On this basis he maintains that the hewing of wood and the drawing of water were exclusively carried on by women during this period, and that the words, “Jack and” are a gloss by some later copyist and did not appear in the original manuscript.
“Went up the hill” is obviously allegorical. The ancients, although probably ignorant of Otis’ First Law of Evaluation (“What goes up must come down.”), were well aware of the transfer of water by artificial means normally involves transportation from an inferior to a superior position. (E.g. The Old Oaken Bucket, Down by the Old Mill Stream, etc.). Professor Gard de I’Eau, the hydrographer and mystic, suggests that this ana basis symbolizes man’s struggle to rise nearer to ultimate unity with the cosmic. The water, he continues, has precisely the same symbolism as the crossing of the Red Sea, the Jordan, Lindburgh’s trip across the Atlantic, and the landing on Omaha Beach in World War II with which everyone is familiar.
“Fetch” in the original was probably “carry.” This transportation of meanings indicates that editorial alteration of the text during the Irrational Period. As H.O. Cuspocus, Professor of Tautology at the university of Balogna, states “La Donna a mobile, qual piuma la Viants.” In other words, “Iffa da water she’s atta da bottom of da hill, she wanna da water atta da top.” This, we submit, is a conclusive argument.
Great care must be exercised in the interpretation of the word “pail.” Some authorities on Celtic history maintain that there is an allusion here to the twelfth century “pale.” This is borne out by the disastrous ending of the periscope (“Jack fell down and broke his crown . . .” et seq.) “Beyond the Pale — chaos” writes Sean O’Gobragh in the only part of his commentary, which has thus far been translated from Gaelic. (N.B. – Of course, it is to be remembered that the infallibility claimed for this passage does not apply to the text, but to the truth contained therein.) Now, for verse 2 . . . Â
— copied Author Unknown
