(copied from Brother Herb Evans)
A GREEK TRAGEDY
A certain Bible college was teaching the “original” Greek to its eager students. The students were supposed to translate some Greek passages on their own. The Ground rules were. (1.) Translation must be uniform. (2.) You must correct the English with the Greek. (3.) You must not correct the Greek with the English (4.) The passages to be translated must contain the word “PNEUMA.” (5.) A rationale must be given for the resulting translation.
1. Student Ron Minton translated Matt 12:43 as follows, his reasoning being that flatulence was a problem in Bible times, so when a man broke wind, he tried to get away from folks.
When the unclean WINDis gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places . . . — Matt. 12:43
2. Student Doug Kutilek translated Mark 1:2 as follows, his reasoning being that a tornado developed and drove Jesus into the desert.
And immediately the WINDdriveth him into the wilderness. — Mark 1:12
3. Student Chris McHugh with Charismatic connections, translated Matt. 11:7 as follows, his reasoning being that they were undergoing revival and folks were expecting John to get the shakes, but they were told not to expect it.
And as they departed, Jesus began to say unto the multitudes concerning John, What went ye out into the wilderness to see? A reed shaken with theSPIRIT? — Matt. 11:7
4. Student Robert Hymers translated Mark 4:39 as follows, his reasoning being that an evil spirit caused the sea to be turbulent.
And he arose, and rebuked the SPIRIT, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the SPIRIT ceased, and there was a great calm. — Mark 4:39
5. Student Estus Pirkle translated Acts 2:2, 4 as follows, his reasoning being that the context of verse four inferred the uniform translation in verse two.
And suddenly there came a sound from heaven as of a rushing mighty SPIRIT, and it filled all the house where they were sitting . . . And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the WINDgave them utterance. — Acts 2:2,4
6. Student Truman Dollar translated Acts 27:7 as follows, his reasoning being that the SPIRIT, as in other passages, directed them away from Cnidus.
And when we had sailed slowly many days, and scarce were come over against Cnidus, the SPIRITnot suffering us, we sailed under Crete, over against Salmone; — Acts 27:7
All agreed that the Greek was much more superior and clearer than the English and that learning it was ever so helpful in understanding and communicating the word of God. They also agreed that students of the Greek were superior to those, who only knew English. Then Professor Whatchmahamaczysz gave them a much more difficult passage, and this is the way that they translated it.
Jesus answered, “Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born of water and of the WIND, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the WIND is WIND. Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again. The SPIRIT bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh, and whither it goeth: so is every one that is born of the WIND.” — John 3:5-8
The students reasoning went something like this. If a man is born of water, it makes sense that the elements are being discussed. Wind like water is also an element. John 3:8 discusses a subject that does what it wants or desires to do. Since the wind cannot desire or want to do something, it must be the Spirit that does what He desires. The professor gave them all an “F” on this one, because they did not uniformly translate the word “PNEUMA.” He said that they should have chosen “SPIRIT“ in every place or “WIND” in every place, so that the translation would be uniform.
Professor Whatchamahamaczysz, unhappy with his students’ last translation study, decided to give them another chance. The Professor told them that there are certain Greek words that are translated by certain English words in some places and different English words in other places. Bound to correct this unscholarly situation, the professor gave his Greek class an interesting new assignment, using a King James Bible.
The professor instructed his students to choose a Greek word, and then take two passages and uniformly translate them, writing down a brief conclusion. The professor promised greater appreciation for language study and a deeper insight to the real meanings of the Bible. Here are some of the results:
Student Stewart Custer read James 1:17, “Every good and perfect gift . . . is FROM ABOVE and decided that “ANOTHEN“ in John 3:3 should be rendered, âExcept a man be born from ABOVE. He concluded that when Nicodemus said afterwards, “Can he enter the second time into his mother’s womb?” meant that Nicodemus did not fully understand the word “ANOTHEN,” thinking that it meant AGAIN.
Student M. H. Clark copied Stewart’s passage and rendered Acts 26:5, “The Jews knew me from ABOVE instead of the word “ANOTHEN“ reading “the Jews knew me from the BEGINNING. His reasoning was that the Jews knew about Paul’s trip to the third heaven.
Student Bobby Sumner read Luke 1:3, “having had perfect understanding of all things âfrom the very firstââ and decided that “ANOTHEN“ should be translated, “the coat was . . . woven FROM THE FIRST in John 19:23 instead of “woven FROM THE TOP.” His reasoning was that the coat was predestined to be woven.
Student Jim White read Mike’s passage, Acts 26:5, “which knew me from the BEGINNING and decided that “ANOTHEN“ in James 1:17 should be translated, “Every good and perfect gift . . . is from the BEGINNING instead of âEvery good and perfect gift . . . is FROM ABOVE His reasoning was that spiritual gifts are all initially given at the moment of salvation.
Student John R. Rice changed “ye desire AGAINto bondage” (Gal 4:9) to “ye desire FROM ABOVEto bondage,” reasoning that the Galatians had crossed the line and God gave them up to believe a lie.
Student Bob Jones changed “Thou couldst have no power at all . . . except it were given thee FROM ABOVEâ (John 19:11) to “Thou couldst have no power . . . except it were given thee AGAIN. reasoning that this was the second time power was given to Pilate.
Student Al Joyner changed “He that cometh FROM ABOVE IS ABOVEall” to HE THAT COMETH FROM THE FIRST IS FROM THE FIRST. (John 3:31). He reasons that Jesus was IN THE BEGINNING so He is FIRST.
Student Bobby Ross remembered that the professor had said that “ANOTHEN” is better rendered âANEW.â so Bob rendered Luke 1:3 to read “having perfect understanding of all things anew” instead of “having perfect understanding of all things from THE FIRST. He concluded that Luke had a touch of Amnesia and had everything brought back to him supernaturally.
Student Gary Hudson thought that Gal 4:19, “I travail in birthAGAIN should be changed to, “I travail in birthFROM ABOVE and concluded that it had something to do with a virgin birth but was not sure about it and did not have any more time, for he was late driving his truck.
— by Herb Evans
Bible Believers Bulletin – August 1980, p. 1; September 1980, p. 2 (Expanded)
